


Stop, Draconic Fiend! An Adventure of Leo Lightfinder!

by queenoffruits



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 05:16:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenoffruits/pseuds/queenoffruits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What kinda tool has the name Leo Lightfinder?</p><p>This kinda tool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop, Draconic Fiend! An Adventure of Leo Lightfinder!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yeomanrand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeomanrand/gifts).



It's a fine summer day in Glen Hills! What will I, Leo Lightfinder, find today over the next hill crest as I adventure in this foreign land? Though nothing important happened yesterday, or the day before that, or really the entire week, I still believe that I, Paladin Leo Lightfinder, shall find my destiny! Or that it will find me!

I really should consult some ancient sages or at least team up someone who's good at divination or... or anyone, actually--

\--But behold! What is that in the sky!? A bird!? A magic carpet!? By Pelor's light, it's... a silver dragon, descending upon the hills with an earth shaking THWOMP and bellowing roar!!

ADVENTURE, HO~!

Knowing no fear, I dash up the hill, my heavy metal armor clanking with each step, and what do my eyes see as I reach the peak of the hill, panting for breath and really wishing that I had a horse?

A massive crowd of wide eyed men and women, no doubt frozen in terror as a lone warrior with a Paladin's marking upon his shield, desperately battling that ferocious silver dragon all by himself, valiantly attempting to protect them from the gargantuan glistening monster!

This is no time to be winded! Filling my lungs with air, I called down from the hills, “ **Brother! I will come to your aid!** ” With everyone's eyes upon me, I draw my sword which shines in the sunlight, and down the hill, aided by gravity!

My paladin brother and the dragon, no doubt flatfooted by my charismatic charge stare wide eyed. Schwing! A slash my sword into the side of the metallic beast, who roared out in pain, but he is no easy foe, and he bashes me away and onto my back.

The people stare in shock as I, Leo Lightfinder, their unexpected hero, am knocked flat on his shiny metal keister... clang!

“OW! That hurt, you jerk!” Bellowed the dragon, glaring down at me.

“Yeah, who are you, and what do you think you're doing!?” My brother paladin cried, tossing away his radiant helmet to reveal the face of—a woman!? “You're ruining the whole show!” Is she, chastising me?

“A woman!? The... the show!?” I stuttered, wide eyed beneath my helmet.

“You're not from around here, are you? Every year the people of Glen Hills celebrate the paladin Glenda's victory over evil silver dragon, Lephisto the Lecherous!” My... sister paladin explained?

“Lephisto... the Lecherous?” I asked. This was all so baffling to me! I'd never heard such a story during my training in the churches or over my adventures...

“So named because he demanded young virgins from these lands every season.” The silver dragon grumbled.

“But, but that's a _real_ silver dragon!” I cried, pointing in objection to the metallic monster. 

The dragon glowed at me, putting pressure on his bleeding wound with one of his wings. “Don't talk about me like I'm not here! I just really hated Lephisto so I've participated in the annual show for the last 42 years.”

I stared up, prone and edging away from the silver dragon. “Oh.”


End file.
